Yesterday morning was a tough one at our house. Things started out great, but quickly went downhill. Very quickly. Chris is working mids (6 pm to 6 am) this week, which means it is all me in the morning. I've got it all figured out down to a science. I know precisely how much time I need to get ready, how much time I need to make breakfast (yes, the kids actually request breakfast before they go to school where they eat another breakfast, so I make eggs/cereal/waffles, etc.), and precisely what time we need to get out the door to ensure I get to work at a reasonable time. It is a science and I've mastered it. Or thought I had--until yesterday came upon us.
One area I struggle with in being a Mom is holding strong to the boundaries I set. Let's face it, when I say my child needs to bring a jacket, but she chooses to bring a sweatshirt, does it really matter? No. I pick these battles everyday and struggle on the psychological end of things. I've read the parenting books where children need control, so give them choices. I do. We do. HOWEVER, I most certainly do not want our children to grow up being "snotty" little kids who control everything. I've seen that time and time again. Kids who are treated as babies until they are in school, then when rules are imposed and that control is taken away while at school, they struggle. Children need boundaries. Here's the deal. Claire and Mya were playing in the living room with some toys. I asked them to go to the kitchen so I could do their hair. Claire doesn't move, but Mya leaps up and runs to the spot. Claire takes the clue and gets mad because she isn't first. I calmly explain that Mya is first, yada yada yada. Fine. Mya gets it done, then Claire pouts. Fine. Natural consequence--crazy hair. She whines a bit more, asks me to do her hair, and I do. Next comes shoes, then jacket. Same deal. Has a holy fit. Won't leave the house. Finally does leave the house only to run in the backyard crying like some possessed crazy child. We get to the car, buckle her in and listen to an earful. I then give her the ultimatum. If she doesn't get herself together, she won't be going to ballet. Fun activities are meant for children who listen, show respect, and do what they are asked. She clearly has struggled with that and continues to struggle all the way to school. (I prefer to give consequences that are immediate, but I really didn't have much choice as I needed to get to work. There was no time for "time out.") A short while passes with more crying, then I tell her because of the choices she has made, she will not be going to ballet after school and we will not be picking up food from the restaurant. I speak no more to her in the car, but poor Mya watches. We arrive at school. Claire is finally calm and apologizes. We make our amends and move on with the morning routine. Poor girl. She looks like she has had a humdinger of a day.
Flash forward several hours...I pick her up from school later and she immediately asks about ballet. I tell her she is not going to ballet and holds it together until we get in the car. She proceeds to ask me "why," repeatedly. The crying starts again. I say nothing. Thankfully, it all ends when we get home. She expresses her apology for showing disrespect and being rude.
I think she got it. There are consequences to our behaviors. Special things come when we show respect, listen and do what is expected. Oiy. I just wish I weren't so exhausted! Parenting is a tough gig. I do know the effort will pay off in the end. We are very blessed to have such well behaved, wonderful girls. They are; however, typical kids. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day and consistent boundaries exist.
One area I struggle with in being a Mom is holding strong to the boundaries I set. Let's face it, when I say my child needs to bring a jacket, but she chooses to bring a sweatshirt, does it really matter? No. I pick these battles everyday and struggle on the psychological end of things. I've read the parenting books where children need control, so give them choices. I do. We do. HOWEVER, I most certainly do not want our children to grow up being "snotty" little kids who control everything. I've seen that time and time again. Kids who are treated as babies until they are in school, then when rules are imposed and that control is taken away while at school, they struggle. Children need boundaries. Here's the deal. Claire and Mya were playing in the living room with some toys. I asked them to go to the kitchen so I could do their hair. Claire doesn't move, but Mya leaps up and runs to the spot. Claire takes the clue and gets mad because she isn't first. I calmly explain that Mya is first, yada yada yada. Fine. Mya gets it done, then Claire pouts. Fine. Natural consequence--crazy hair. She whines a bit more, asks me to do her hair, and I do. Next comes shoes, then jacket. Same deal. Has a holy fit. Won't leave the house. Finally does leave the house only to run in the backyard crying like some possessed crazy child. We get to the car, buckle her in and listen to an earful. I then give her the ultimatum. If she doesn't get herself together, she won't be going to ballet. Fun activities are meant for children who listen, show respect, and do what they are asked. She clearly has struggled with that and continues to struggle all the way to school. (I prefer to give consequences that are immediate, but I really didn't have much choice as I needed to get to work. There was no time for "time out.") A short while passes with more crying, then I tell her because of the choices she has made, she will not be going to ballet after school and we will not be picking up food from the restaurant. I speak no more to her in the car, but poor Mya watches. We arrive at school. Claire is finally calm and apologizes. We make our amends and move on with the morning routine. Poor girl. She looks like she has had a humdinger of a day.
Flash forward several hours...I pick her up from school later and she immediately asks about ballet. I tell her she is not going to ballet and holds it together until we get in the car. She proceeds to ask me "why," repeatedly. The crying starts again. I say nothing. Thankfully, it all ends when we get home. She expresses her apology for showing disrespect and being rude.
I think she got it. There are consequences to our behaviors. Special things come when we show respect, listen and do what is expected. Oiy. I just wish I weren't so exhausted! Parenting is a tough gig. I do know the effort will pay off in the end. We are very blessed to have such well behaved, wonderful girls. They are; however, typical kids. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day and consistent boundaries exist.
Comments
Love ya,
J