Claire is really pushing our buttons right now. She can be such a sweet thing, but it seems those moments are fewer than the ones where she is not listening, bugging/manipulating her sister or being sassy. I am struggling. We try so hard to teach about respect. She is a saint at school--never has been removed from "green," yet at home she can be a monster. Ugh. I feel like I am disciplining or yelling at her, which I really hate, so much of our time together.
She is at a tough stage where she is old enough to do some things for herself and on her own, but still wants the help like when she was 3. For example, our mornings are busy. Chris takes care of breakfast, I pack lunches and we both try to make sure everyone is ready to roll. Both children can dress themselves--clothes are already laid out for them and school bags are packed, so basically, their only responsibility is to get dressed and sit down for breakfast. Claire insists on someone helping her get dressed. It is such a struggle.
Everything can turn into a power struggle or battle of wills. She got in the car this morning and left her backpack in the house. I went back to get it. Why? Simply because if I didn't, and she went to school without it (as I really wanted to do), I would have my whole day ruined by listening to her screaming like an insane person. Truly insane.
Last night it was whining. Right after school we planted our little garden together with my Mom's help. Claire was so excited to do it that she didn't take an afterschool snack. By the time she said something, it was 5:00--almost dinner time. Being the minimal eater that she is, I couldn't give her a snack then, knowing she wouldn't eat her dinner. Instead, I listened to whine after whine and beg after beg for something to eat. I finally couldn't take it anymore and I finally distracted her with the "silent game" where I wished for a child with a language delay. What is wrong with me???!! I am wishing for my very verbose and articulate children to have a disability just so I can have some silence? I am a sick freak!
I am at a loss. We praise, ignore, redirect, put her in time out, which can be effective, we take away items from her (ipad, tv, toys, outside time) and we spank as a last resort. Sadly that is the only form that she actually acknowledges as a consequence. I've read the books and obviously have a fairly vast knowledge base of behavior modification through my education. It isn't that she is naughty. She simply tends to be disrespectful (only to those she knows well--namely us) and manipulative. She wants to be "big," yet wants to be "little" at times too. Chris & I struggle tolerating and juggling that balance and knowing when each is okay.
She really is a good kid and has a heart of gold. She is simply smart and manipulative as well, which can reinforce the bad. I know I will be able to deal with the behavior this summer when I can consistently engage & discipline. Right now we pick our battles. We have too many places to be, and things that need to get done to address every little issue. This all probably feels much more intense to me than it actually is. It is heartbreaking watching your pretty much perfect kiddo (and no I don't share that with her) act/behave anyway less than you know she is capable.
This too shall pass. Breathe in, breathe out....
She is at a tough stage where she is old enough to do some things for herself and on her own, but still wants the help like when she was 3. For example, our mornings are busy. Chris takes care of breakfast, I pack lunches and we both try to make sure everyone is ready to roll. Both children can dress themselves--clothes are already laid out for them and school bags are packed, so basically, their only responsibility is to get dressed and sit down for breakfast. Claire insists on someone helping her get dressed. It is such a struggle.
Everything can turn into a power struggle or battle of wills. She got in the car this morning and left her backpack in the house. I went back to get it. Why? Simply because if I didn't, and she went to school without it (as I really wanted to do), I would have my whole day ruined by listening to her screaming like an insane person. Truly insane.
Last night it was whining. Right after school we planted our little garden together with my Mom's help. Claire was so excited to do it that she didn't take an afterschool snack. By the time she said something, it was 5:00--almost dinner time. Being the minimal eater that she is, I couldn't give her a snack then, knowing she wouldn't eat her dinner. Instead, I listened to whine after whine and beg after beg for something to eat. I finally couldn't take it anymore and I finally distracted her with the "silent game" where I wished for a child with a language delay. What is wrong with me???!! I am wishing for my very verbose and articulate children to have a disability just so I can have some silence? I am a sick freak!
I am at a loss. We praise, ignore, redirect, put her in time out, which can be effective, we take away items from her (ipad, tv, toys, outside time) and we spank as a last resort. Sadly that is the only form that she actually acknowledges as a consequence. I've read the books and obviously have a fairly vast knowledge base of behavior modification through my education. It isn't that she is naughty. She simply tends to be disrespectful (only to those she knows well--namely us) and manipulative. She wants to be "big," yet wants to be "little" at times too. Chris & I struggle tolerating and juggling that balance and knowing when each is okay.
She really is a good kid and has a heart of gold. She is simply smart and manipulative as well, which can reinforce the bad. I know I will be able to deal with the behavior this summer when I can consistently engage & discipline. Right now we pick our battles. We have too many places to be, and things that need to get done to address every little issue. This all probably feels much more intense to me than it actually is. It is heartbreaking watching your pretty much perfect kiddo (and no I don't share that with her) act/behave anyway less than you know she is capable.
This too shall pass. Breathe in, breathe out....
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