Constant Beginnings

Gavin is officially seventeen months. He seems like such a little boy and no longer a baby! I took the kiddos to the States for 5 weeks alone. Thankfully, each did great on the plane. Gavin arrived in the States with only 6 teeth and returned with 7 and one more pushing through. It was a summer of growth. He loves to run/jump on the trampoline with the girls, ride the plasma car and play in the pretend kitchen. He roars at any animal, pretends to be a dog crawling around on all fours and gives hugs/kisses when someone is hurt. He has finally taken a deep interest in books. He loves to bring books to read, sits and looks at a few pages, then gets up to retrieve more. Gavin still has a good appetite. He eats pretty much anything, although isn't a huge fan of meat, he tolerates a few bites. Gavin's vocabulary has grown! In June he had 2 solid words--ball and mama. We returned to Germany in July and he began talking. Gavin now says--Dadda, Mama, ball, bike, ride, bye bye, hi, Clair...

I have had an interesting past few days. They have been filled with to-do lists, wrapping up another Graduate class, finishing the nursery, arranging care for Claire & Mya, picking up and packaging the cookies that the girls will bring to share with their friends at school and favors for visitors/nursing staff, packing my hospital bag, packing baby's bag, continued waiting and praying for news on Chris' retirement (numbers have been cut dramatically and the odds don't look great) and trying to soak up some time as a family of four. I thought for sure this little guy was trying to bust out on Tuesday evening as I started having contractions at 7 pm until 6 am the next day. I slept for about three hours, then moved to the couch where I learned of the great late night/morning line up on AFN. Seriously, it felt as if I was in the States--the Today Show, Hoda & Kathy Lee, Queen Latifah (had no idea she had her own show), the View, and Young & the Restless. It was lov...

I had my 38 week appointment yesterday. Mya joined me and helped take my blood pressure and assisted Dr. Downer. She was so excited to help. Everything looks good with Pedro. He is measuring on target, heart rate was 150 bpm, but laying oblique. Obviously, since he'll be a repeat c-section it doesn't truly matter how he is positioned, but I did feel reassured that the repeat was the right decision. I also tested positive on the GBC, which is a strain of strep. Again, this basically means nothing since he'll be delivered c-section, but interesting as I never tested positive with the girls. I gained 50 pounds this pregnancy. I was doing so well, but obviously my body likes what it likes. 50 pounds is pretty much what I've gained during each pregnancy. I will say that I think most of the weight is truly in my belly. I've worn the same maternity pants throughout my pregnancy and only gone up a size in shirts. I think overall, I've carried this little guy diffe...

I had such a great attitude-Yesterday. Today it is crap again. I just want to be done. I want my body back. I want to wear my "skinny" clothes and by skinny clothes, I mean before children skinny clothes. Yes, I've saved them all, although pieces will need replacing because I'll need a huge reward when I get to the point of wearing them again :) I want to jump into our new life as 5. I want to jump forward knowing that all is well, that all of these loose ends that are here now, will be gone soon and I want assurance that our girls will adjust with all the changes that are about to occur with open arms, happy faces and loving hearts. I want, I want, I want.... I had such a great attitude--yesterday. Somehow it was lost around bedtime last night. I shared this change with Chris. His response, "reset." If only it were that easy. It should be that easy. But obviously I am a complex person in a chaotic life. Nothing is easy. No decision is taken lightly. My Mo...

I picked up little dude's bedding today. On a side--not sure what to call him. Don't love "baby," dislike "buddy," so hands are kind of tied until he arrives and I can reveal his name to the general population :) Anyway, I ordered all the fabric online and had a local spouse sew it all together. She captured my vision perfectly! She is still making the blanket, cushions for the rocking chair and ottoman, so I cannot post the entire nursery yet. However, we are definitely seeing progress and I LOVE IT! My sister kindly noted that the deep red fabric looks very pinky. I'd have to agree, but rest assured it is deep red and lovely. 

7 more weeks to go! It cannot come soon enough! I am dying for life to get back to normal or at least reclaim my body, but obviously, super excited to meet our little guy. The girls had a birthday party for a friend this weekend and a random party goer approached me and said, "Congratulations! You're having a boy, aren't you!?" I didn't know her from Adam, so of course, she was guessing purely on the way I am carrying. I was totally excited! I do think I am gaining less weight all over like I did with the girls,  but I certainly do not possess that cute little basketball in the front either. He is getting to be one big beach ball! I've gained 30 pounds so far and would love to stick to that. We had an ultrasound this morning and we decided to bring the girls. They were so excited! Claire mentioned that in previous pictures, the little dude looked more like a dog than a baby. She was really hoping things have changed. And changed, they did! He is looking grea...

I am well into week 29 now. I've made my best effort to savor this pregnancy and simply enjoy each moment, knowing it will be my last. That being said, my feet are killing me, my lower back is in excrutiating pain at  the end of the day and I want nothing more than to wear sweatpants to work each and every day. Ha! I am ready to be done! I only have about 9 more weeks to go and I know it will pass quickly. I cannot wait to hold this precious boy in my arms. He will be so worth the wait! I finally dropped the fabric for his bedding off to the gal who is sewing it for me. I can't wait to see some progress pictures. I think it is going to be so cute! I've been stalking the online sales pages in hopes to find a dresser and finally found one for $20! Mya decided she needed one that was a bit larger and truth be told, this one is more feminine than the chest of drawers she is currently using, so we swapped them. I filled his drawers with all the clothes I've been collecting...

At 15 weeks we went to a German OB for an ultrasound. He was 99% certain that it was a boy, but I wasn't convinced since it was so early. Well, 5+  weeks later, it is still a BOY!! I never thought I'd be a boy mom! I just assumed since we already had two lovely girls, that maybe we'd only have girls. What a surprise! Chris is ecstatic. I am too, just shocked! He is measuring a bit ahead right now--15 ounces, heart rate was 158 bpm. Other than that, he looks perfect. His hands stayed pretty close to his face the entire hour of our appointment, so we only saw glimpses of his little eyes, nose and mouth. He looks beautiful and we couldn't be happier. Let the shopping begin.

Little One, Here I am at work. Trying to work, but can't seem to keep focus on anything but you. The anticipation is growing. Everyone is excited. Mya talks about you all the time. Claire cannot wait to meet you. Daddy is convinced you are a "he," whereas I am not certain. Not in denial, just not convinced. I do want to know, see the proof. That will come soon enough. In a little over one hour to be exact. I am now 20 weeks, 5 days and we are going to the doctor for the anatomy scan. Daddy and I will look at you with amazment. Pure joy and happiness as our prayers have been answered. We frequently sit in disbelief, finding it hard to believe that this is real, to see God's plan for our family is becoming more and more clear. I am excited to see your beautiful face, your 10 fingers, 10 toes and watch you kick and wiggle around. It is today that we will see if you are in fact, a little girl or a precious little boy. Each wonderful. Each a gift. You are, swee...

Chris and I had this elaborate plan on how we were going to share the news with our girls. I ordered adorable shirts, which took forever to get here. They were supposed to ship Oct. 4, but didn't. I am not a patient soul at all. I love to share good news and spread the excitement. We went to a German doctor last week for a gender reveal ultrasound. He was 99% certain of his selection. Claire and I began looking at clothes online. She asked questions about why we were looking at baby clothing, but thankfully, my sister has a little guy and a baby girl who is due in December. They are my perfect excuses for all things baby! Claire asked nothing more and began pointing out things we should buy Jackson or the new baby girl. Our weekends typically involve partaking in a local event or just relaxing, which means a trip to the KMCC Mall. Saturday we went shopping or at least looking. Once again, the girls became excited, choosing items for Jackson or the new baby girl. I decided I cou...

Well, here we are--13 weeks. It feels great knowing we have made it this far. I am finally feeling like my old self again-a bit less tired, tad less forgetful, nausea has faded tremendously. I got my hair done yesterday, which makes me feel even more like "ME." Our approach to this pregnancy is so much different than the four previous ones. It feels incredibly odd writing four, knowing that we have only 2 children at home, but it is what it is. Anyway, I am much more discrete. I have shared our news with a total of two people outside of our family. I am not sure what is holding me back. I don't think it is worry or anxiety, but perhaps more a calmness and peace, knowing that all is well and the news will come out--in due time. We have yet to share the news with Claire and Mya. I was changing clothes the other night and Mya was talking with me. She looked at my tummy and commented about it jiggling. (That's my girl!). Anyway, I said something to the effect of it jigg...

We've had a bit of a stressful few weeks. In a rather sudden manner, Chris and I decided to pull Mya out of her preschool and enroll her in a new Montessori that opened around our base. We always wanted her in a Montessori, but it wasn't an option last year. Needless to say, we jumped at the opportunity. That being said, it has placed a burden on us. The hours are shorter, which means we need additional care in the afternoon and we had to revamp our morning routine. We are 1 week into it and the "new" routine is changing once again. Stressful! I can't wait until we are back to the mundane, every day is the same type  life. All that said because I needed to bring the girls to my first OB/nurse appointment. I loaded up the Ipad, Ipods and thought they'd sit contently. Ha. Not so much. I neglected to share with the nurse that we had not told our children about our impending change. Claire watched a movie for a few minutes, then nestled comfortably on my  lap. No...

I am thrilled to share that we are officially beyond the 8 week mark. We are still keeping our news under wraps for fear that history will repeat itself. I am tired, bloated and experiencing some food aversions, but I think the nausea is becoming less frequent and less severe. My food tolerances come and go. I started out craving salads, then began to jive with previous pregnancies and crave sugar/candy, and now I am onto soups and sandwiches. I cannot eat chicken, fish or really much meat at all. The thought alone repulses me. I have only gained a pound or two, but my shorts are fitting and feeling much tighter already. I am really trying to keep my weight gain in check this pregnancy, which will mean working out and eating well. I had been working out 5 days per week prior to becoming pregnant, but then we traveled for 2 weeks and the nausea and exhaustion set in. I have run 2 times since. I have to get back on it as I feel so good when I do it. I bought a heart rate monitor even t...

So, we always hear--3rd times a charm. Let's hope this is true in our case because......we recently learned that we are pregnant! We are over the moon, trying to remain calm, keeping our excitement in check, and gripping on to the possibility that things may go wrong. Basically Chris and I are psychological messes as we prepare for the letdown. That is extremely sad. We are thrilled, but don't want to get our hopes up only to experience the heartbreak again. That being said, we are farther along than we've made it in the previous pregnancies, so we remain hopeful. I am feeling extremely tired. Today I dropped Claire off at Bible School, came home, slept for 1.5 hours, made lunch, picked up Claire, fed the girls, then we all napped for another 2 hours. Pathetic, but so lovely to be able to do that. Not great parenting, but what do you do? I have also been experiencing nausea like never before. I am constantly feeling sick--not to the point of throwing up, but basically to ...

4/14/2013 After 15 or so pregnancy tests over the course of the past three months year and after waiting about a week of relying only on my gut feeling bloated tummy and intense exhaustion , I am over the moon thrilled to say that we are pregnant. This has been such a long, heart wrenching road for us that I cannot tell you how overjoyed we are. Chris is probably more thrilled that he doesn't have to have his manly juices investigated and I am thrilled that all happened naturally. I say naturally, but I really do think the HSG is the reason. Praise God! Months of stress, months of worrying, months of fear and sadness have quickly been washed away at the sight of one little word. "Pregnant." I really cannot believe it. It is surreal at this point. While we were on our cruise, I was pretty certain I was pregnant, but of course, no tests were packed. I had actually taken one a day or so before our departure, which was obviously too early. The same day that Chris and I ha...

I went for my OB/GYN consultation to review all the infertility testing that was completed over the course of the last two months. Basically, everything is normal--HSG, hormone levels, etc. There was one test, the DHEAS (or something other bunch of letters) that measures the hormones in the adrenal gland. My level was flagged due to the parameters put in place at our base, but the measurement itself is within normal. Elevated levels typically are shown in women by masculine characteristics--receding hairline, facial hair, etc. None of these have been true in my case. She also said that elevated levels are usually tied to PCOS (which doesn't seem to be the case for me) or cancer. My level was 390 something whereas "high" is 700-800--again, vastly different. Regardless, because it is the only thing that has come back even questionable, she suggested I go back in for another blood draw to check the level again. What does all this mean?? I have 2 options. 1. We can continu...

My goodness. It is hard to believe Claire is nearly one year old. She is becoming such a little person who is into EVERYTHING and goes EVERYWHERE! Her favorite destination is the bathroom. If we forget to close the door, she quickly looks for us to make sure we aren't watching and then b-lines it for the door. While in the bathroom she enjoys water activities in the toilet or a bit of dining on Harvest's food. mmmm hmmm. Enough said. Claire loves to read books, although her attention is a bit limited. I have books that are actually puzzles as well. These seem to be her new favorites along with the old goodies such as "Baby Faces," "Colors," and the 2 books from Grammie and Papa. She loves kids. I can't say it enough. This kid needs a sibling. Everywhere we go, she is more interested in the kids than anything else. When we go to Strollerstrides (I am pleased to say that we are regulars) she is awake the entire time, but when she and I go on our daily walk...

        Claire has learned a few new tricks. She now waves and does "so big." She also has discovered the phone. She holds it up to her ear and "talks." It is adorable. I finally got pictures of Claire taking care of her baby. She actually pats the baby's back, too. This kiddo is way too cute!

My best childhood friend, Nicole, and her husband, Kevin, welcomed a son into their lovely family. Congratulations, Nicole and Kevin! We can't wait to meet him in a few weeks!! He is beautiful.

9 months has flown by. Honestly. It is hard to believe nearly 9 months have passed since Claire shown her light on our hearts. We love her more and more everyday. It seems corny to say so, but it is very true. Each day is a new experience as she understands or sees something new. It is quite the joy experiencing life through someone else's eyes. This past month has been one of huge growth. She is crawling everywhere. Claire will now leave a room that we are in to see what there is to see. She is intrigued by Harvest, but not so much into pulling his hair anymore. She loves to watch him play with his toys and occasionally crawls after him to see what he is up to. Claire is eating everything--babyfood and table food. She is no longer showing any aversions to textures, which eases my anxiety. She is beginning to develop a cute little personality. Her favorite face is one where she wrinkles her nose. She does this ALL THE TIME!! It is too cute. She is adding heavy nasal breathing to th...