Constant Beginnings

  I will wear shorts where my thighs do not rub together. I will invest in jeans that make my bootie look great and shirts that fit well without worrying about concealing my rolls of fat on my tummy.         These pictures are my inspiration. They are my goal--a lean, toned, fit form. One day, I will wear this. It may take a year or 2, but I will get there. In the process of my quest, I will show my children that being healthy is being beautiful!

I had such a great attitude-Yesterday. Today it is crap again. I just want to be done. I want my body back. I want to wear my "skinny" clothes and by skinny clothes, I mean before children skinny clothes. Yes, I've saved them all, although pieces will need replacing because I'll need a huge reward when I get to the point of wearing them again :) I want to jump into our new life as 5. I want to jump forward knowing that all is well, that all of these loose ends that are here now, will be gone soon and I want assurance that our girls will adjust with all the changes that are about to occur with open arms, happy faces and loving hearts. I want, I want, I want.... I had such a great attitude--yesterday. Somehow it was lost around bedtime last night. I shared this change with Chris. His response, "reset." If only it were that easy. It should be that easy. But obviously I am a complex person in a chaotic life. Nothing is easy. No decision is taken lightly. My Mo...

We are officially in the final countdown. 29 days until Pedro arrives. I've spent the last two weeks dreaming, researching and planning about the changes that will occur as I said adios to my final. pregnancy. This is my last one. I feel pretty certain at this point that Pedro will be our youngest child and definitely certain that he will be the last child I deliver. That being said, adoption has weighed on our hearts and mind for the past few years and perhaps, if that continues, we may finally take that leap as well. Time will tell. I am so anxious to reclaim my body. I have cherished nearly every minute of this gift, which was my ultimate goal, but as my back pains become more unbearable and my heels ache, I am left looking ahead. The next year will be spent focusing on ME while juggling our new life as a family of 5. 1. I'll be reconnecting with my trainer who will kick my butt 2 days per week. She is totally awesome, comes to my house, encourages the girls to workout ...

We will meet our little guy in 3 weeks and 4 days. I had my second to the last OB appointment this morning where I begged for an earlier C-section. I only kid. I didn't really beg, but wanted to! Dr. Ball estimated this little guy is weighing about 7 pounds 5 ounces or so. I am guessing he will be around 9 pounds at birth. He feels so much bigger than the girls did, but who memory tends to fade with time. I am measuring right on, so it is possible he will weigh about the same as Claire and Mya--8 pounds.

Growing up in ND, my exposures to religions other than the basics (Catholisism, Lutheran, etc.) was limited. I knew of the Jewish religion and of course others that are more common in the middle east, which I learned about in History classes. I also remember my parents and aunts/uncles talking about Mormonism and the amazing Temples when we traveled to Arizona. I simply never knew any Mormons.  Well it seems that since we moved overseas, Chris and I have developed a magnet of sorts. In Korea, our wonderful neighbors were Mormons. We spent Thanksgiving with a large group of their friends on a trip to southern South Korea. I have stayed in touch with many of these lovely people. Arriving in Germany, again, we discovered a large population of Mormons in our military community. Interestingly, Claire's best friend since kindergarten is Mormon. Obviously, the goal of religion is to spread the word, encourage others to join you in your beliefs and show others why ...

As much as I am yearning for time to fly by or at least these next 4 weeks, I am finding myself yearning for it to stop just the same. Our girls are growing up too quickly, becoming more and more independent everyday and as their ever proud Momma, I love it yet hate it. This post is going to be somewhat random, but I feel I need to capture some of these moments for posterity's sake. Before we know it, this blog will be consumed by all things "Pedro." Claire has been learning responsibility. We are encouraging a study routine (never thought I'd be implementing this in 1st grade) with homework being done at the kitchen table. She completes her weekly math packet on her own, then Chris and I check it over and review what needs reviewing. Claire has a reading packet that is completed every Sunday afternoon even though it is not due until Tuesday. We are trying to teach her timeliness and how to avoid procrastination, even though I am a pretty successful procrastinator. ...

I picked up little dude's bedding today. On a side--not sure what to call him. Don't love "baby," dislike "buddy," so hands are kind of tied until he arrives and I can reveal his name to the general population :) Anyway, I ordered all the fabric online and had a local spouse sew it all together. She captured my vision perfectly! She is still making the blanket, cushions for the rocking chair and ottoman, so I cannot post the entire nursery yet. However, we are definitely seeing progress and I LOVE IT! My sister kindly noted that the deep red fabric looks very pinky. I'd have to agree, but rest assured it is deep red and lovely.