christmas, already?

Mya lovin the lights.



 we had the pleasure of having mark help us decorate the tree. hopefully it gave him a little taste of home too. we definitely think of him as family.



claire was a great little helper. she loved learning which ornaments were hers. i am so glad i started their collections right away. ornaments are a cherished possession in my family. both mya and claire already have several ornaments courtesy of my mom, sisters and of course, me. can't wait to see the collections grow. chris made several comments about missing the after christmas sales this year. hopefully my sisters/mom think of me and score me some cute ones?!! the hallmark rush will be missed!
claire and i also put up my little tree with my hallmark miniature ornaments in her room. she loved it. i think that may be a new little tradition for us. it was a good quality moment together.

last year our christmas decor was set up two weeks BEFORE thanksgiving. this year, we set it up the sunday of thanksgiving weekend. last year, i knew exactly what to get each kiddo, this year, i am still struggling. last year, i had the luxury of running to do last minute christmas shopping. this year, not so much. the whole idea of online shopping has sort of caught up with me. the post office was claiming that december 6th was the deadline for shipping packages. let's just say, i will be testing that number. ugh. i hate feeling unprepared. i hate thinking that i may be looking my presentless children in the eyes this christmas. i hate feeling my expectations for our first christmas alone set to unreachable limits. i hate feeling the pressures of the holidays knowing that i am solely responsible for carrying on my childhood tradition of yummy meatballs, gravy, and everything else (truth be told, i've never prepared said meal on my own, which presents a whole other level of anxiety), wrapping presents, and making our children's eyes light up with excitement, but also the pressures of keeping our spending in check so they GET the reason for the season. we've been great thus far. chris and i limit our gifts to one or two per child, but they've been young, so it has been easy. we've also been surrounded by family who spoil or kiddos rotten, which has also made it easy on us. this year will be different and has been different. i just need to remember that different isn't bad, it is just different. that being said, i will miss my family terribly! south korea is calling, mom and dad!!!