Here we are awaiting the arrival of our packers/movers. The fourth set of "moving men" that we will have encountered since our marriage. In the midst of all of our craziness the past few weeks, Chris and I have been discussing our hopes and feelings for the future--mostly how we both desire feeling "content" and "settled." The truth is that neither of us have felt completely settled since we left Massachusetts over 2 years ago. I suppose it is because we were thrown into the craziness of Korea, thinking Chris was going unaccompanied, the kids and I arriving 1 week after school had already begun and Chris having a work schedule so demanding that we rarely saw him longer than 2 hours per day during the work week. That may be it. The same has held true in Germany. We get semi-settled, only to learn that I officially have a job 2 weeks after school has begun. We had to rearrange our lives, deal with my miscarriage, move Claire to a different school, figure out our new routine and juggle all the balls to make it happen. Add on our whole hearted attempt to buy a house, have that mess blow up in our face, find a new house, rearrange the packers, cleaner, throw in a tonsil/adenoidectomy and the regular chaos that surrounds the holidays (parties, gift buying, wrapping, baking, etc.). We are trying very hard to give our children a feeling of normal during this very stressful time. We are trying very hard to practice patience. Trying very hard to be more understanding and tolerant. It is hard and a constant battle, but one that will be ending soon as the last box leaves our house.
Chris has openly said how he thinks this is going to be the worst Christmas ever. I tend to disagree. I think while it will be different, it will be wonderful. Simple and wonderful. We'll have our beautiful tree, a sleepover by the fire in our living room, Christmas movies to watch, great food to eat and presents to open surrounded by those we love most. I won't be worrying about entertaining, cleaning, organizing, blah blah blah. There will be nothing to do but enjoy the time together and for that I am forever thankful.
As I look beyond this holiday season and into the new year, I hope for nothing else than that feeling of being settled and content. I have so much to be thankful for. I have experienced, traveled and seen more in 34 years that most have not experienced in a lifetime. I am blessed. I need no material things this Christmas. I want nothing. For the first time in my life, I truly feel I have it all. I simply want to "be." I want to better myself. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I want to love and cherish. I want to savor every moment. I want to "live" my amazing life. Through these things, I will feel settled and most certainly content. Here's to trying.
Chris has openly said how he thinks this is going to be the worst Christmas ever. I tend to disagree. I think while it will be different, it will be wonderful. Simple and wonderful. We'll have our beautiful tree, a sleepover by the fire in our living room, Christmas movies to watch, great food to eat and presents to open surrounded by those we love most. I won't be worrying about entertaining, cleaning, organizing, blah blah blah. There will be nothing to do but enjoy the time together and for that I am forever thankful.
As I look beyond this holiday season and into the new year, I hope for nothing else than that feeling of being settled and content. I have so much to be thankful for. I have experienced, traveled and seen more in 34 years that most have not experienced in a lifetime. I am blessed. I need no material things this Christmas. I want nothing. For the first time in my life, I truly feel I have it all. I simply want to "be." I want to better myself. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I want to love and cherish. I want to savor every moment. I want to "live" my amazing life. Through these things, I will feel settled and most certainly content. Here's to trying.
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