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what could have been...

We are in such a good place in our lives right now. Chris and I both have rewarding jobs that we enjoy. I'd say love, but I'm not sure if he "loves" his or not. :) We just marked our anniversary of our first date on February 12th, which was 17 years ago! I feel we are closer today than we've ever been. Chris and I chatted about the crossfit/support issue and he finally saw the light. Needless to say, this week has been much better. I feel supported and loved. Our kids are healthy, active, smart and dare I say, happy. All that said, I find it fascinating that we cannot help but feel sad or unsatisfied, held back by the what could have been's.
Chris made the decision to retire from the Air Force. It was a tough decision. One filled with pros and cons. The pros obviously being stability for our family and more time together. The cons being what is bringing us to this bittersweet place. It is this month that we would have found out, along with our other friends, our next duty assignment. Most of our friends are headed to a job at the Pentagon. It is most likely, we would have as well. Although, the Pentagon position is not a life we desired as it means countless hours, sometimes nights, spent at work. It means a long commute. It means a father who is not deployed, but basically is deployed. This month would have also marked Chris' promotion to major. This is the one that makes him most sad. He is hearing the news of his friends who share his year group. While happy for them, he can't help but think what could have been. 
Again, we made the choice to retire together. We love our life. Most would give anything to see the world and experience the things we have. Most would love to have our work schedules, salaries, etc. We've worked hard to get where we are. We've had struggles. We've had roadblocks. We push through. We are finally in a solid, comfortable place, yet we reflect on what could have been. Life is funny like that.

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