Dearest Claire and Mya,
Wow, what a whirlwind we've been experiencing. Daddy just returned to us after 5 long weeks away and you are just so excited to have him back in your worlds. So excited. Claire, you actually teared up when he was hugging you and Mya, when you were in his arms, your little legs were kicking with shear delight. It was an absolute beautiful sight. Daddy was at the gym when you woke this morning, so one can only imagine the confusion that you must have felt wondering if seeing him last night was simply a dream. You were both easily assured that he would return after work tonight. The rest of our morning went seamlessly knowing that his face would greet you soon.
The past 5 weeks alone with the two of you will be treasured by me always. You are the greatest joys and sources of pride in my life--and you're still babies!! Daddy and I love you like we never imagined possible. We do our best to never leave your side, which many cannot understand. You are my little sidekicks and I love every moment of it....even those that I'd rather not remember so clearly. You are typical kiddos in that you have your moments of poor choices. One of those happen to come last Friday.
I tried to take you out to a restaurant, but after a couple of fussy minutes, I issued the ultimatum. Claire, you did not comply, so we were homeward bound. It was such a tough and embarrassing episode, carrying my two screaming children out of the restaurant with several others watching; however, I knew it was one of those lessons that would not be forgotten. I learned early on to not only offer choices, but offer choices in which I'd be okay with either outcome. I have stuck to that teaching. This was one of those necessary "follow through" moments. While driving home with Claire screaming like a crazy girl, I heard the words I'd love to forget--"I hate you." Although you looked shocked and as though you'd rather forget them yourself, I knew that I could not. I did not want to raise my tolerance to such poor choices & "ugly" words as I refer to them. Again, another lesson to be offered. I gave you another consequence added to the one already earned via the restaurant behavior. What a miserable evening. You got yourself together by the time we arrived home, so much in fact, that felt you would be let off the hook from your consequences. Not so. To your room you went with a spanking no less (I am a firm believer in not spanking unless absolutely necessary). Listening to your crying and screaming again for the next several minutes, I heard a short repreive accompanied by those same glaring words--"I hate you!" Lesson retaught. Again. I marched up the stairs, issued a third consequence. It was a very tough night. A tough night for you and certainly a very tough night for me. The following day, Mya told me to "stop," in which you responded to the effect, "Don't tell Momma to stop. Those are not okay words in our family." I knew at that moment, that you learned the lesson. That my heart-wrenching inner battle between firmness/consistency and desire to hug you while telling you it would be okay, paid off.
I share this story to explain the undescribable love your Daddy and I have for you. The easy road or the road we could take if we did not love you so much, would be to give in to your every whine, grant every wish and give you every expensive gift imaginable. However, our love is true, our love is real. We love you so much that we want you to learn how to work hard for what you want, we want you to learn that sometimes the greatest gifts are those that you earn for yourself or through your savings, we want you to learn that although the easy road is accessible, it isn't the most fullfilling or the 'right' choice, we want you to learn that what is okay for some families is not okay for ours, we want you to learn that doing the right thing when no one else is watching is what matters most, and we want you to know that because we love you so much and want for you to be the best that you can be, our road together is not always going to be smooth. We will have ups and downs like our experience at the restaurant and perhaps we'll encounter those "ugly" words again some day, but even so, our love for you is unfading. We are firm and consistent because we love. Claire and Mya, you are the light in our lives and the twinkle in our eyes. Raising two beautiful girls is the greatest gift we've been given and it is our hope that you will one day share with your children, the LOVE we offer through the happy times and difficult times as well.
Wow, what a whirlwind we've been experiencing. Daddy just returned to us after 5 long weeks away and you are just so excited to have him back in your worlds. So excited. Claire, you actually teared up when he was hugging you and Mya, when you were in his arms, your little legs were kicking with shear delight. It was an absolute beautiful sight. Daddy was at the gym when you woke this morning, so one can only imagine the confusion that you must have felt wondering if seeing him last night was simply a dream. You were both easily assured that he would return after work tonight. The rest of our morning went seamlessly knowing that his face would greet you soon.
The past 5 weeks alone with the two of you will be treasured by me always. You are the greatest joys and sources of pride in my life--and you're still babies!! Daddy and I love you like we never imagined possible. We do our best to never leave your side, which many cannot understand. You are my little sidekicks and I love every moment of it....even those that I'd rather not remember so clearly. You are typical kiddos in that you have your moments of poor choices. One of those happen to come last Friday.
I tried to take you out to a restaurant, but after a couple of fussy minutes, I issued the ultimatum. Claire, you did not comply, so we were homeward bound. It was such a tough and embarrassing episode, carrying my two screaming children out of the restaurant with several others watching; however, I knew it was one of those lessons that would not be forgotten. I learned early on to not only offer choices, but offer choices in which I'd be okay with either outcome. I have stuck to that teaching. This was one of those necessary "follow through" moments. While driving home with Claire screaming like a crazy girl, I heard the words I'd love to forget--"I hate you." Although you looked shocked and as though you'd rather forget them yourself, I knew that I could not. I did not want to raise my tolerance to such poor choices & "ugly" words as I refer to them. Again, another lesson to be offered. I gave you another consequence added to the one already earned via the restaurant behavior. What a miserable evening. You got yourself together by the time we arrived home, so much in fact, that felt you would be let off the hook from your consequences. Not so. To your room you went with a spanking no less (I am a firm believer in not spanking unless absolutely necessary). Listening to your crying and screaming again for the next several minutes, I heard a short repreive accompanied by those same glaring words--"I hate you!" Lesson retaught. Again. I marched up the stairs, issued a third consequence. It was a very tough night. A tough night for you and certainly a very tough night for me. The following day, Mya told me to "stop," in which you responded to the effect, "Don't tell Momma to stop. Those are not okay words in our family." I knew at that moment, that you learned the lesson. That my heart-wrenching inner battle between firmness/consistency and desire to hug you while telling you it would be okay, paid off.
I share this story to explain the undescribable love your Daddy and I have for you. The easy road or the road we could take if we did not love you so much, would be to give in to your every whine, grant every wish and give you every expensive gift imaginable. However, our love is true, our love is real. We love you so much that we want you to learn how to work hard for what you want, we want you to learn that sometimes the greatest gifts are those that you earn for yourself or through your savings, we want you to learn that although the easy road is accessible, it isn't the most fullfilling or the 'right' choice, we want you to learn that what is okay for some families is not okay for ours, we want you to learn that doing the right thing when no one else is watching is what matters most, and we want you to know that because we love you so much and want for you to be the best that you can be, our road together is not always going to be smooth. We will have ups and downs like our experience at the restaurant and perhaps we'll encounter those "ugly" words again some day, but even so, our love for you is unfading. We are firm and consistent because we love. Claire and Mya, you are the light in our lives and the twinkle in our eyes. Raising two beautiful girls is the greatest gift we've been given and it is our hope that you will one day share with your children, the LOVE we offer through the happy times and difficult times as well.
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