Validation

Everyone has their issues, including me. While I may appear to be a laid back, a bit avante gard (as my Mom has taken to applying to me), a go with the flow type person, I am really a total nutcase inside :) I am clearly a middle child. I have always had a purpose to keep everyone happy, although I am quite certain my siblings may see things different (keep in mind, they are first and last born, which clearly reflects their points of view). When I make "BIG" decisions, my first quest is to make sure I have the approval of others. I am quickly realizing that this quality stinks! I am never satisfied with going on my gut instincts and letting things ride. Never.
I seek validation daily. Typically it comes from Chris who is supportive and eager to give me his insight, which typically matches my own. (I guess he's learned that lesson!) We've been faced with very few "big" decisions. In fact, the only one I can think of lately is my decision to pursue my Autism Specialist Certification. That too, was an easy one. My family (aka, the jury) is hugely into education and life-long learning, so of course, they approved. Validated!
Let me jump ahead to my present issues. Chris and I have talked for quite a few years about adoption and the possibility to add to our family in this manner. It was always a "down the road" conversation. It breaks our hearts knowing their are children who will never experience the good in this world, never know the love that family offers, or live up to their potential simply because of the situations they were born into. Let's not mention the fact that many of these poor kiddos die simply because of the lack of healthcare and nutrition provided to them. Well, living overseas and seeing first hand the need for such openness has brought this idea back to our minds. We talked about it again last year, but quite honestly, our hands were rather full with our own two lovelies to even fathom traveling down the road of excess stress and potential heartbreak. The timing was just not right. We are once again at this point of discussion. Is it time now? Our kiddos are awesome. They get along well, life is routine, they are pretty independent, Claire will be starting kindergarten in the fall, we are in a solid position financially, and our marriage is great. I have been researching and researching and researching. We've gathered our list of references, begun to fill out the application for an agency, chosen our country, begun the immigration paperwork as well. The final little piece of this preparation stage is sharing our desire with family (aka looking for that validation). My family is odd. They are the most kind, generous, and intelligent people I know, yet change and "different" is often challenging. I also possess this quality. Thankfully, I've been pushed into dealing with this time and time again due to the variability and change that is required in a military lifestyle. Their validation is such a key point in this whole process, which also drives me crazy. I wish for once I could make a decision without going to the jury. However, they are my family. They are the ones who matter most. They are the ones who can look more objectively at us and this situation. They are the ones who love our children unconditionally.  I know they will welcome others into our family easily and with open arms, but I also feel they'll look at the challenges that may lie ahead as an inter-racial family. Of course it is natural to not want to see pain and stress in others, especially your children. Chris and I know there will be challenges if/when we choose to depart on this journey. We know there will be looks. We know this. However, we also know that what we can offer is a life far beyond anything they would experience in an orphanage.
We flip flop back and forth about the timing of this whole thing. We are debating about waiting until we get settled at our next base. We are debating.....