WARNING: This post contains personal and detailed womanly information. Dad, you may want to skip this one :)
It is no secret that we've been trying to have another baby. It has been a long road, granted not as long as many others', but very long for us. I want to document for the sake of my girls. As life moves forward, there are details that will be lost, questions that may be answered and thoughts that may be forgotten. I want my girls to be aware of our challenge in case they should face their own.
2 months after giving birth to Mya, I had an IUD placed--Mirena (hormonal not copper).
"The hormonal (Mirena) IUD is a small plastic ‘T-shaped’ device that contains progestogen. This is a synthetic version of the natural hormone progesterone. The device has a coating (membrane) that controls the release of the progestogen into the uterus. Like the copper IUD, it has a fine nylon string attached to the end to make checking and removing it easier."
(http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Contraception_intrauterine_devices)
Chris and I decided that we were going to wait at least 2 years before attempting to have another child, so this seemed like the perfect solution. I loved having it. I suffered no side effects and had it checked each year I went for my annual exam.
While in Korea, December 2012, Chris and I decided that the timing was right. I had the IUD removed. My PCM couldn't find the device, so I had an ultrasound done to confirm. It was still there, but had to be removed by a GYN or possible surgery. Chris and I went to Seoul, Korea to the nearest GYN to see if they could remove it. Thankfully, they were successful.
Each month, we'd try to conceive with no success. Each month, we chalked up the failure to stress or pressure, assuming all was fine physically. Flash forward through the next year-complete with one miscarriage and several months using an ovulation predictor. (Desperate times call for desperate measures). I've determined that I am ovulating once every 3 months or so.
My younger sister has had similiar challenges, so she has been my go to girl. She suggested I have my hormone levels tested. I couldn't quite wrap my head around it all. I conceived two times each within the first month of trying. How could I have such difficulties now? I am only 34. My eggs should still be plenty at this point, right??!!
Anyway, I made the appointment. I go on Monday. We'll see what they say. In the meantime, I've been researching. I want to make sure I know what I need to know so I can ask what I need to ask. Interestingly, I found a frequent connection between mirena and miscarriages in early pregnancy as well as difficulty conceiving. It has definitely struck a chord with me and makes perfect sense as to why I am experiencing the difficulty that I am. Mirena produced progesterone so my body didn't have to. When it was removed, my body began producing some progesterone, but not enough to sustain the pregnancy, which is why I miscarried. I am guessing my estrogen level is also messed up, which is why I am not ovulating each month.
Although it feels as though some light has finally been shed on this situation, I can't help but feel even more frustrated. I realize there is a plan for us and whether that means we have more biological children or we adopt, we will be fine. Our family plan will develop. I just always imagined that the decision to have more biological children would be ours to make. Had I known that by opting to have the IUD placed, I was not simply "choosing to wait," as I had thought, I would have waited until later in life. It makes me feel angry and guilty.
I know there are plenty of options available for those trying to conceive. I am simply not prepared to go forward with them. If necessary, I will complete hormone therapy or other minimally invasive techniques, but I don't think I can put myself through IVF or something to that degree. We have two beautiful girls and there are too many children desperate and deserving of a family to love them. God has a plan for us. We know this and will wait for that plan to unfold.
Update 2/4/2013:
I am convinced my doctor thinks I am crazy. She assures me she does not, but what I must have looked like telling her my theories ;) Anyway, interestingly, she shared my medical chart had not been amended to read other than something to the effect "the prominent scarring on her uterine wall should be examined to determine possibility of future pregnancies." My last OB did not indicate such and simply said the ER doctor was overreacting. She suggested another ultrasound, but both Chris and I got the feeling it was simply a suggestion to ease my mind. Regardless, I had blood drawn yesterday to check my thyroid. Other than that, she simply told me to have more sex and give my body time to adjust from the IUD. hmmm. She did confirm that IUD's can lead to infertility, which was not shared with me at all. In fact, the opposite light was shed, telling me in 2009 that once removed, you can try to conceive immediately. I am also going to the high risk OB so he can do the in office ultrasound and share his insight. That appointment is tomorrow.
Update 2/5/2013:
After an internal and external ultrasound, Chris and I met with the Perinatologist. He took his time explaining the comparison between this ultrasound and the ones done in September. The uterine scar is thinner, but small. There is apparently a small divot which will thin out further throughout a potential pregnancy. He didn't think I was at any more risk than an average pregnancy for uterine rupture and simple said it will be something to keep an eye on as a future pregnancy progresses. He addressed my infertility concerns and will put some orders in for blood workup as well as potentially a Hysterosalpingography. He is consulting with an Ob/Gyn who is more practiced with infertility. Overall, I am happy with our visit today. It was reassuring to hear I can have more pregnancies should I want and I felt my concerns were addressed well. I appreciated the action vs. waiting for more months to pass. It was a good visit and maybe, just maybe reinstated my faith in LRMC.
Update 2/6/2013:
My lab results are in: normal thyroid functioning. I am happy though I'd love to have the root of the problem identified in one simple test :) Instead, I'll be going in for 2 more rounds of bloodwork. The first will look at my hormones. The second will look at ovulation. I also have the HSG (Hysterosalpingography) which will look at the shape of everything and make sure my fallopian tubes are open. All this will occur over the next month or two. Fun, fun, but hopefully a beautiful baby will be the end result :)
Update 2/14/2013:
Fitting, I suppose, I had my first blood draw today--Valentine's Day. This draw will look at my hormone levels, a closer look at my thyroid functioning and prolactin levels. I should know something in 3-5 days.
Update 2/21/2013:
I called for the results of my bloodwork from last week. All hormone levels were normal--this includes testosterone, dehydropiendosterone, prolactin, FSH, TSH, and another estro something or other. Anyway, good news. Now I go back on March 4th for another blood draw then wait a couple of weeks to schedule my HSG. The nurse assured me that pregnancy frequently happens after the HSG as it basically clears out the fallopian tubes. Let's hope this is the case for us. My patience is wearing thin :)
Update 3/8/2013:
Again I called for results of my bloodwork from Monday (3.4.13). Progesterone level was 10.2 and fasting glucose was 83, both of which are normal. Now I wait to schedule the HSG which is done between the 6th and 10th day of my cycle.
Update 3/19/2013:
Today is the day. I am heading to the lab for a pregnancy test in a couple of hours, after which, I will head to Landstuhl for the HSG. The radiologist will shoot dye into my fallopian tubes, which will allow them to get a better look at any structural abnormalities or blockages as well as open them up. I am kind of nervous. Basically, if they do not find any reason as to why we've been unsuccessful, this may be the end of the road. I will not pursue IVF or any other conceptual method beyond medication at this point. We'll see if my thoughts change when faced with that option. Needless to say, I am nervous, anxious and excited. I am glad we are finally here and hopefully closing this crazy chapter of our lives.
Update 3/20/2013:
The HSG is complete. It hurt like HELL, but it is done. Basically, it is much like an angioplasty? They place a balloon in your uterus, followed by a dye which allows them to photograph the functioning of your fallopian tubes. Mine were both open, which is good news. The radiologist noted that she felt I may have had a stenosis in my cervix, which basically means the opening to the cervix was closed by scar tissue. There is no way of confirming this as it was noted simply by the resistance she felt as she placed the devices. Let's hope and pray that this was in fact the reason for our lack of success thus far. Chris and I will now meet with my OB/GYN on April 1st.
It is no secret that we've been trying to have another baby. It has been a long road, granted not as long as many others', but very long for us. I want to document for the sake of my girls. As life moves forward, there are details that will be lost, questions that may be answered and thoughts that may be forgotten. I want my girls to be aware of our challenge in case they should face their own.
2 months after giving birth to Mya, I had an IUD placed--Mirena (hormonal not copper).
"The hormonal (Mirena) IUD is a small plastic ‘T-shaped’ device that contains progestogen. This is a synthetic version of the natural hormone progesterone. The device has a coating (membrane) that controls the release of the progestogen into the uterus. Like the copper IUD, it has a fine nylon string attached to the end to make checking and removing it easier."
(http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Contraception_intrauterine_devices)
Chris and I decided that we were going to wait at least 2 years before attempting to have another child, so this seemed like the perfect solution. I loved having it. I suffered no side effects and had it checked each year I went for my annual exam.
While in Korea, December 2012, Chris and I decided that the timing was right. I had the IUD removed. My PCM couldn't find the device, so I had an ultrasound done to confirm. It was still there, but had to be removed by a GYN or possible surgery. Chris and I went to Seoul, Korea to the nearest GYN to see if they could remove it. Thankfully, they were successful.
Each month, we'd try to conceive with no success. Each month, we chalked up the failure to stress or pressure, assuming all was fine physically. Flash forward through the next year-complete with one miscarriage and several months using an ovulation predictor. (Desperate times call for desperate measures). I've determined that I am ovulating once every 3 months or so.
My younger sister has had similiar challenges, so she has been my go to girl. She suggested I have my hormone levels tested. I couldn't quite wrap my head around it all. I conceived two times each within the first month of trying. How could I have such difficulties now? I am only 34. My eggs should still be plenty at this point, right??!!
Anyway, I made the appointment. I go on Monday. We'll see what they say. In the meantime, I've been researching. I want to make sure I know what I need to know so I can ask what I need to ask. Interestingly, I found a frequent connection between mirena and miscarriages in early pregnancy as well as difficulty conceiving. It has definitely struck a chord with me and makes perfect sense as to why I am experiencing the difficulty that I am. Mirena produced progesterone so my body didn't have to. When it was removed, my body began producing some progesterone, but not enough to sustain the pregnancy, which is why I miscarried. I am guessing my estrogen level is also messed up, which is why I am not ovulating each month.
Although it feels as though some light has finally been shed on this situation, I can't help but feel even more frustrated. I realize there is a plan for us and whether that means we have more biological children or we adopt, we will be fine. Our family plan will develop. I just always imagined that the decision to have more biological children would be ours to make. Had I known that by opting to have the IUD placed, I was not simply "choosing to wait," as I had thought, I would have waited until later in life. It makes me feel angry and guilty.
I know there are plenty of options available for those trying to conceive. I am simply not prepared to go forward with them. If necessary, I will complete hormone therapy or other minimally invasive techniques, but I don't think I can put myself through IVF or something to that degree. We have two beautiful girls and there are too many children desperate and deserving of a family to love them. God has a plan for us. We know this and will wait for that plan to unfold.
Update 2/4/2013:
I am convinced my doctor thinks I am crazy. She assures me she does not, but what I must have looked like telling her my theories ;) Anyway, interestingly, she shared my medical chart had not been amended to read other than something to the effect "the prominent scarring on her uterine wall should be examined to determine possibility of future pregnancies." My last OB did not indicate such and simply said the ER doctor was overreacting. She suggested another ultrasound, but both Chris and I got the feeling it was simply a suggestion to ease my mind. Regardless, I had blood drawn yesterday to check my thyroid. Other than that, she simply told me to have more sex and give my body time to adjust from the IUD. hmmm. She did confirm that IUD's can lead to infertility, which was not shared with me at all. In fact, the opposite light was shed, telling me in 2009 that once removed, you can try to conceive immediately. I am also going to the high risk OB so he can do the in office ultrasound and share his insight. That appointment is tomorrow.
Update 2/5/2013:
After an internal and external ultrasound, Chris and I met with the Perinatologist. He took his time explaining the comparison between this ultrasound and the ones done in September. The uterine scar is thinner, but small. There is apparently a small divot which will thin out further throughout a potential pregnancy. He didn't think I was at any more risk than an average pregnancy for uterine rupture and simple said it will be something to keep an eye on as a future pregnancy progresses. He addressed my infertility concerns and will put some orders in for blood workup as well as potentially a Hysterosalpingography. He is consulting with an Ob/Gyn who is more practiced with infertility. Overall, I am happy with our visit today. It was reassuring to hear I can have more pregnancies should I want and I felt my concerns were addressed well. I appreciated the action vs. waiting for more months to pass. It was a good visit and maybe, just maybe reinstated my faith in LRMC.
Update 2/6/2013:
My lab results are in: normal thyroid functioning. I am happy though I'd love to have the root of the problem identified in one simple test :) Instead, I'll be going in for 2 more rounds of bloodwork. The first will look at my hormones. The second will look at ovulation. I also have the HSG (Hysterosalpingography) which will look at the shape of everything and make sure my fallopian tubes are open. All this will occur over the next month or two. Fun, fun, but hopefully a beautiful baby will be the end result :)
Update 2/14/2013:
Fitting, I suppose, I had my first blood draw today--Valentine's Day. This draw will look at my hormone levels, a closer look at my thyroid functioning and prolactin levels. I should know something in 3-5 days.
Update 2/21/2013:
I called for the results of my bloodwork from last week. All hormone levels were normal--this includes testosterone, dehydropiendosterone, prolactin, FSH, TSH, and another estro something or other. Anyway, good news. Now I go back on March 4th for another blood draw then wait a couple of weeks to schedule my HSG. The nurse assured me that pregnancy frequently happens after the HSG as it basically clears out the fallopian tubes. Let's hope this is the case for us. My patience is wearing thin :)
Update 3/8/2013:
Again I called for results of my bloodwork from Monday (3.4.13). Progesterone level was 10.2 and fasting glucose was 83, both of which are normal. Now I wait to schedule the HSG which is done between the 6th and 10th day of my cycle.
Update 3/19/2013:
Today is the day. I am heading to the lab for a pregnancy test in a couple of hours, after which, I will head to Landstuhl for the HSG. The radiologist will shoot dye into my fallopian tubes, which will allow them to get a better look at any structural abnormalities or blockages as well as open them up. I am kind of nervous. Basically, if they do not find any reason as to why we've been unsuccessful, this may be the end of the road. I will not pursue IVF or any other conceptual method beyond medication at this point. We'll see if my thoughts change when faced with that option. Needless to say, I am nervous, anxious and excited. I am glad we are finally here and hopefully closing this crazy chapter of our lives.
Update 3/20/2013:
The HSG is complete. It hurt like HELL, but it is done. Basically, it is much like an angioplasty? They place a balloon in your uterus, followed by a dye which allows them to photograph the functioning of your fallopian tubes. Mine were both open, which is good news. The radiologist noted that she felt I may have had a stenosis in my cervix, which basically means the opening to the cervix was closed by scar tissue. There is no way of confirming this as it was noted simply by the resistance she felt as she placed the devices. Let's hope and pray that this was in fact the reason for our lack of success thus far. Chris and I will now meet with my OB/GYN on April 1st.
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