yes you read right. wtf. it has been one of those weeks. things are winding down at work or at least the days are, the workload is winding up as things come to a close, i am trying to put travel plans in place, and just deal. i think i am living in a utopic hell. is that possible? it seems like a utopia from afar, but when you jump on in, you quickly realize that it is in fact hell. old people have no life other than to watch others. i generally don't care if people watch me, but where i draw the line is confrontation. flash forward to this morning...our little routine goes like this...
5:30--i wake up, take the dog outside...does her business and we come in--no sooner no later.
6:15--we head out the door for the day. i carry mya, claire walks, and sometimes (depending on the amount of other stuff that i need to bring) i let sophie walk freely without holding onto her leash. today and yesterday were two of those days.
6:20--buckle my kids in their seats, get sophie into the car, drive to our garage, drop sophie off in her cage (she gets picked up for daycare 1 hour later).
This morning, I am putting Mya in her seat when I see my 85 year old neighbor lady frantically trying to open her patio door. I wave a friendly hello (I should have flipped her the finger) as she prances over to the edge of the patio overlooking the grass where my dog had been walking. I approach her and and it goes a little like this:
Me--Good morning.
Her-- Your dog messed.
Me--Oh, really?
Her--Yeah, right there (pointing to a clump of dried grass)
Me--Oh, i think you're mistaken..this is grass.
Her--Well I saw him squat.
Me--Well, she may have peed.
Her--Oh, she's a girl?
Me--Yep. I have already taken her out this morning and I am good about picking up after her.
Her--Well you didn't see as you were tending to your kids.
Me--ok
Her--She messed yesterday on the sideway there (pointing to a wet spot on the sidewalk next to the clump of grass), but someone must have picked it up.
Me--Oh, I don't think so. this is wet from that grass clump (my teeth are clenched and I am livid!!) but, I practice "class."
Her--Well, it's fine. (she turns and walks back inside.)
Me--Great. (under my breath) you've got to be f--ing kidding me.
I then get to get in the car and answer Claire's questions about that NICE lady. Yes, I told her the NICE lady was asking questions about Sophie. F--HER!!! I am pissed. Seething and plotting my next move--murder or a big flaming poop bag on her porch?? Ugh. Actually I am wishing pneumonia on her.
(I'll take pictures of the grass and sidewalk later today for your viewing pleasure)
UPDATE:
while at work today, the manager of our complex called. needless to say i was convinced my friendly b--ahtch of a neighbor called to report me. i was relieved when they said they were simply needing to enter my unit to install air conditioners. phew. i did seize the opportunity to cover myself and report the confrontation before my evil neighbor. the manager was very kind and non-judgemental. issue put aside.
THEN...i get home later this afternoon, two kids and dog in tow. as i am fumbling for my keys, the neighbor's door opens and there is the vision in pink AGAIN! i can't seem to get away from her. she fails to properly get my attention (i do afterall, teach social skills so i note such things) anyway, but begins to apologize. it went like this...
her: i feel badly for judging you this morning. it was very prudent of me.
me: i agree. that is okay. i understand.
her: i have felt sick all day.
me: i've been upset all day as well. i do want you to understand that it really was not my dog. i am a very responsible pet owner and she is hardly outside at any point in the day.
her: i believe you. she is a good dog. i never hear her bark or anything. i know she is a good dog.
me: ok. well, thank you.
all done. apology accepted. i will, however, continue to watch over my shoulder and i will save the blasted bag of poop for another day.
5:30--i wake up, take the dog outside...does her business and we come in--no sooner no later.
6:15--we head out the door for the day. i carry mya, claire walks, and sometimes (depending on the amount of other stuff that i need to bring) i let sophie walk freely without holding onto her leash. today and yesterday were two of those days.
6:20--buckle my kids in their seats, get sophie into the car, drive to our garage, drop sophie off in her cage (she gets picked up for daycare 1 hour later).
This morning, I am putting Mya in her seat when I see my 85 year old neighbor lady frantically trying to open her patio door. I wave a friendly hello (I should have flipped her the finger) as she prances over to the edge of the patio overlooking the grass where my dog had been walking. I approach her and and it goes a little like this:
Me--Good morning.
Her-- Your dog messed.
Me--Oh, really?
Her--Yeah, right there (pointing to a clump of dried grass)
Me--Oh, i think you're mistaken..this is grass.
Her--Well I saw him squat.
Me--Well, she may have peed.
Her--Oh, she's a girl?
Me--Yep. I have already taken her out this morning and I am good about picking up after her.
Her--Well you didn't see as you were tending to your kids.
Me--ok
Her--She messed yesterday on the sideway there (pointing to a wet spot on the sidewalk next to the clump of grass), but someone must have picked it up.
Me--Oh, I don't think so. this is wet from that grass clump (my teeth are clenched and I am livid!!) but, I practice "class."
Her--Well, it's fine. (she turns and walks back inside.)
Me--Great. (under my breath) you've got to be f--ing kidding me.
I then get to get in the car and answer Claire's questions about that NICE lady. Yes, I told her the NICE lady was asking questions about Sophie. F--HER!!! I am pissed. Seething and plotting my next move--murder or a big flaming poop bag on her porch?? Ugh. Actually I am wishing pneumonia on her.
(I'll take pictures of the grass and sidewalk later today for your viewing pleasure)
UPDATE:
while at work today, the manager of our complex called. needless to say i was convinced my friendly b--ahtch of a neighbor called to report me. i was relieved when they said they were simply needing to enter my unit to install air conditioners. phew. i did seize the opportunity to cover myself and report the confrontation before my evil neighbor. the manager was very kind and non-judgemental. issue put aside.
THEN...i get home later this afternoon, two kids and dog in tow. as i am fumbling for my keys, the neighbor's door opens and there is the vision in pink AGAIN! i can't seem to get away from her. she fails to properly get my attention (i do afterall, teach social skills so i note such things) anyway, but begins to apologize. it went like this...
her: i feel badly for judging you this morning. it was very prudent of me.
me: i agree. that is okay. i understand.
her: i have felt sick all day.
me: i've been upset all day as well. i do want you to understand that it really was not my dog. i am a very responsible pet owner and she is hardly outside at any point in the day.
her: i believe you. she is a good dog. i never hear her bark or anything. i know she is a good dog.
me: ok. well, thank you.
all done. apology accepted. i will, however, continue to watch over my shoulder and i will save the blasted bag of poop for another day.
Comments
Nic
Love ya,
J
Lisa
Love you,
Wtf. The post was a freaken joke! Don't take this the wrong way, but I try to be a "kill em with kindness" type of a person as well as a big believer in Karma. I couldn't do something evil like wish bad thoughts on someone or a devious act like the bag of poop. I am glad to see that all of those who know me well (and for whom this blog is update) got my sarcasm and my personality in this post. It was funny! For the record, I have not done wrong and will not be saying any prayers to the "good Lord." But I will say, wtf!