Who would have ever thought Elmo could bring two grown people to tears?!! Chris went to a deployment readiness meeting yesterday and brought home a bunch of goodies including a Sesame Street DVD. The basis of the video was "Daddy is going away." It was great. Chris wanted Claire to watch it, but I can't say she was too interested beyond the singing. Chris and I, on the other hand, were crying like idiots. It was awful. I've been doing well mentally and emotionally preparing for this huge change. As long as no one talks directly about how I am feeling or asks about Thanksgiving, Christmas or if Chris will be back in time for the second kiddo's birth, I am okay. I can answer superficial questions or questions about when he leaves or where he goes, but I can't get personal. It has been a challenge with many of my friends as they dive right in and I cry everytime, which leaves them feeling badly. Honestly, the past three weeks have been awful. I have felt awful from the pregnancy, emotionally exhausted and just plain sad, but recently something has changed. I have energy, no more nausea and although our lives are about to shift like no other, I have limited my crying to minimal tearing. Pretty good, I think. We are trying to make our time together meaningful, treasuring every moment, yet getting done what we need to do for our time apart. Last night we carved our jack-o-lantern. It was fun. Claire loved watching Chris carve, but wanted nothing to do with cleaning out the pumpkin. Oddly, she actually freaked out at the suggestion. I say oddly, because this is the same kiddo who would do anything to dig her hands into a pile of dirt. Go figure. Anyway, this has been a brief or not-so-brief walk down our roller coaster of emotion life. Hopefully it is on the upswing...
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Love ya,
Jessica